When Saying "Yes" is Bad
Being too eager to take on work can be a bad thing for your development as a creative, and also for how others perceive you at work.
Our parents and grandparents were taught that working hard and volunteering for things big and small was the secret to success. That “hard work” paid off, and that the definition of hard work was saying “yes” and “how high” anytime your boss said “Jump!”
Having enthusiasm for what you do is great. Offering to help without being asked - that’s also great and can demonstrate how how proactive and pleasant to work with you are. But there’s a tipping point to how much it helps you to do this - before it starts to derail your growth. There’s no pot of gold at the end of the self-sacrificial rainbow; usually it ends with a physical/mental breakdown.
What I’m talking about is excessive hand-raising: volunteering over and over (and over) again for things - and saying “yes” to any and all requests.
Why would this be a bad thing? There’s a few reasons:
When you act like you’re constantly available for any and all new work…you actually seem like you’re not busy with anything that important. You may be unintentionally sending the signal that your current work is insufficient or “junior level/easy”.
When you auto-reply “sir, yes sir!” to any request immediately, you’re actually creating a cycle where you don’t have the space to show up as a thought leader; just an order-taker.
You might be training your coworkers to rely on you excessively - to the point of interrupting your lunches, vacations and weekends. The more you offer, the more people will take. They will not auto-magically refrain from over-imposing on your time; they can’t read your mind.
You might be underestimating how much you can feasibly take on while still delivering things in a timely fashion (I’ve seen this one a LOT). If you volunteer for a new task when you still have 8 others that are unfinished, you’re sending your coworkers the message that you don’t have good time management skills.
You might think that the only “good” projects are the ones that your boss is currently focused on - so you’re hopping from one thing to the next trying to chase that limelight. Unfortunately, this leaves a trail of unfinished business behind you that your coworkers and boss will be annoyed at having to clean up. No one wants to work with someone who bails on a moment’s notice.
You might be excessively volunteering out of desire to control every single aspect personally. I see this one a lot too - the person’s convinced only THEY can do the thing satisfactorily, everyone else will screw it up. Unfortunately, this usually leads to the creation of a big chokepoint on the project.
You might be helping others in a way that’s “invisible” to your boss or anyone with the power to advance your career. Think: Tim’s asking you for the seventh time to fix his glitchy component in Figma; when it comes time to present the work he mysteriously forgets to mention your help.
You might feel at this point that I’m coming down harsh on people who volunteer for things. There’s a reason.
A lot of folks with “overvolunteerism-itis” don’t respond to gentle suggestions to pull back, because they’re assuming what they are doing is inherently a good/virtuous thing. They believe that anyone who asks them to stop is just being polite - and so they’ll just keep on doing it. They believe that some day it’ll all pay off - that they’re investing in their future. (OR that they’re preventing something BAD from happening.)
Hey, I get it - there’s so many messages we get fed that reinforce that this is the RIGHT way to succeed at work. If this is you, it isn’t your fault.
Unfortunately what actually ends up happening is that you run yourself ragged trying to impress people who couldn’t care less about all the things you’re doing. You’re busting your butt, but OTHER people are getting promoted.
Sure, people will SAY that your self-sacrifice is what will make you stand out at work. But that’s not actually true.
At the end of the day the leadership is always going to prioritize the people who are bringing value in the form of revenue to the company rather than service in the form of being everyone’s gopher. I talk more about this in my podcast episode “Be the Ham.”
None of what I’m saying is meant to disparage or shame you for wanting to make people happy, btw. That’s a good thing - a great thing, in fact. Think of your desire to make people happy as an awesome super power: something that you BESTOW, not something that you OWE.
So what’s the solve?
You don’t need to start saying NO all the time. You don’t need to start being mean to be people.
Just take a step back, pause, and compose your response thoughtfully when there’s a request of your time. Evaluate if what’s being asked for makes sense. Don’t be afraid to counter-propose something that would be more efficient.
Avoid raising your hand when you’re already busy.
That’s really it!
Final thoughts:
Managers in this scenario: I'd recommend taking note that "more" (as in someone taking on more and more work) often isn't better.
Team members in this scenario: concentrate on making good estimates and completing things; completion and proper pacing is more important than doing more things. (It’s also the secret to doing more things).
XOXO,
Cathy
Honestly, this is a life lesson for everyone. Just take a step back before saying yes to everything. It might safe your sanity! Great post!