Sometimes I get to the point where something I planned to do...it’s impossible. (Like sending a daily email 😉 )
Things are too busy. I’m underwater.
I guess it was fitting it happened to be yesterday when it was raining cats and dogs outside in NYC.
It felt like I’d taken a cold, gross bath when I got back from trucking my son to school.
I recently learned how to say “raining” in Mandarin. Xiàyǔ…Heavy rain is dàyǔ.
Even when I’m underwater, even on the busiest of the busiest days, I still try to make a tiny little space…a little baby air-hole…to learn something that’s interesting to me, that excites me, that makes me think in a specific way that feels good to me.
ADDING a thing might sound like it’s going to drown you.
But honestly, it’s like a flotation device.
This little happiness I get from whatever-the-thing-is…it buoys me up. Sometimes it’s just as simple as spending the first half hour of the day cuddled up in a blanket with a cup of hot coffee, the lights dimmed, and my glittery pineapple lamp and scent diffuser turned on full blast.
Doing these things reminds me that I’m me...and that I’m pretty cool.
That I’m still good “on my own” even without all the titles and things I’ve acquired over the years.
And the storm (re: job, kids, bills) may rage and thunder outside in the world, but here, inside my body, I’m safe and warm.
All that gives me so much energy.
If I'm not trying to stay afloat because it "means something bad about me" if I don't do everything perfectly, then I can feel free to relax and enjoy the water-logged journey.
And oddly, that tends to be what helps me rise back up to the surface.
This was always true, but it took me around four decades to learn it.
If you’re feeling underwater today, I’m sending buoyancy vibes your way.
XOXO,
Cathy
P.S. My order of books came early! If you already ordered one, I'll send them out shortly. If you want to grab a copy, I will sell two more of this particular run.