Last week, I was having a conversation about how my mindset as a design professional has changed so much from my mid-20s to now that I feel like I’m basically a different person.
For example, I can’t really remember a time I lost sleep to the idea that I wouldn’t be able to figure out how to do something, or that it would end up sucking. Honestly; I don’t get anxious like this [about my skills] anymore. I actually think I can’t get anxious like this anymore, like…it’s biologically/mentally impossible for me. But why is that? Because this wasn’t always the case.
In my 20s, a “good design” felt like a moving target that I could never quite reach. I have email threads from the early 2000s canceling weekend plans because I was nervous that what I’d done for a project at work wasn’t good enough and I wanted to use the weekend to try again. I was desperate for my design to get “picked” - for MY design to be the one the client wanted to turn into a “real” project. If you’ve worked at any sort of creative agency, you know that the bidding process for projects is highly competitive, and Creative Directors may submit several different options or design directions alongside a proposal. I wanted my design option to get selected; because in my mind, selection equated to me being a “legit” designer - and I’d finally be respectable. There’d finally be incontrovertible proof that I was worthy. In my 20s, I was always waiting to be “found out” as an impostor with no real talent for design.
Yeah…that logic is busted. I just didn’t know it at the time. By laser-focusing on this end goal of having the final project be MY design, I was actually getting further away from my real goal: being a respected designer with creative autonomy.
I was also disregarding what was already working - the ways I’d already been included in the project in a meaningful way.
Here’s what I should have been paying attention to:
The important win is being awarded the project in the first place. If that happens, the company stays open and I keep getting a paycheck.
The Creative Director putting the proposal together had already chosen me to be on their team. This means they already had confidence my work was going to be strong enough to be included in our pitch. This is a big deal.
Pitches are hit or miss, but mostly miss. I should have been paying attention to the overall win rate of the company - and set my expectations accordingly. There are lots of reasons that things do or don’t go through that have nothing to do with the quality of the work (I go more in depth on that in other posts).
Showing range to clients is strategic. The directions that don’t get picked are just as important as the ones that do to the overall showing.
I’ll work on the project regardless, and in so doing, I’ll make my own mark on it. No matter what, I get a portfolio piece out of it. Projects are also shared - they don’t belong to any one person - and “being picked” isn’t any guarantee of creative control.
A person who’s obsessed with getting personal credit for everything is a real pain in the ass to work with. This is probably the most important thing I can express. Being overly obsessed with selection is going to show up as arrogance or credit-hogging to your coworkers.
I can’t say this enough times: the number of hours worked DOES NOT equate to “good design.” Good design is about making smart decisions. Making smart decisions comes easier to a mind that has had rest and nourishment.
I’m not amazing at every skill - and that’s okay. It’s actually GREAT. That means I can find someone who IS good at a specific thing and team up with them. This is much more important to building leadership skills than being “the best” at everything - and it makes the result better, too.
“Sucking” is one of the stops on the journey of “not sucking.” Sucking at something isn’t a problem. You can always fix it or change it. Not trying because you’re afraid of sucking? That’s the real problem.
It turns out that when you take the pressure off yourself to be the shiniest, most aww-inducing, most worthy designer ever - you actually are able to focus on solving the client’s problem more effectively. You’re able to spot flaws. You don’t cling to ideas just because you had them; you can adapt. And that…is what increases your “win” rate!
I have so much lived evidence of the above that I just don’t get stressed about being good enough the way I used to. I don’t mean to imply I’m cool as a cucumber. I get stressed about plenty! Just not about whether or not I’m good enough to be a “real” designer. It’s pointless to worry about that - it’s the road to madness. In the end, selection is complex and interdependent on many factors that you may not be able to perceive.
Well that’s enough for a day. Hope you have a good week!
-Cathy
PS - If you happen to be in the Queens/Forest Hills area this weekend, I’ll be selling some of my craft items at Yant Art Space this Sunday from 12-6 - details here.