"Why am I doing this?"
It’s a question we often ask ourselves when we’re on the brink of a new venture.
Actually, let's be honest. It's more like, "Why am I DOING THIS, am I f*cking crazy?"
I find myself doing it too. There are times I feel pretty concerned…about all the money I’m spending on software, plugins, licenses, government registration fees, and all the other business costs that I often worry I’ll never ever be able to recoup.
And I ask myself…”What am I doing here? What is the point of this? What is it I think I'm achieving?”
It can be good to answer that question for yourself when it comes up.
I was recently reminded of my reason for doing this. I was talking to a someone who brought up the subject of “a-hole Creative Directors.”
You know the type. The kind of person who dominates a conversation…who cuts other people off when they are trying to speak. The kind of person who redoes perfectly good work so they can prove they are better than other people. The kind of person who assumes that 98% of the people they meet are idiots. The kind of person who never seems to give the other people who worked with them credit. The kind who name-drop, the kind who speed-talk through names of software plugins or types of camera lenses on purpose in order to make you say, “Sorry, what did you say?” — so they can then condescendingly retort, “nevermind, YOU wouldn’t know it.”
There’s kind of a lot of this type of creative leader…aren’t there?
It starts to feel like an exclusive club. One that some people will never get access to, no matter what they do. I think we’re all sort of participating in this…even when it's NOT US who are the "club members"...because we're using that club as the reason to NOT TRY for things we want.
Oof. I wasn't ready for my own truth bomb.
Here’s the thing about me. I drink a lot of coffee and I swear like a sailor.
And I CANNOT FUCKING STAND that exclusive-club shit.
So, I’m doing something about it.
I’m going to deliciously, delightfully, yes even PLUCKILY…subvert the living freaking shit out of gatekeeping culture.
And I invite you to, as well.
You don’t need to confront anyone. (And you don’t need to buy anything from me to do it, either.)
Just be you…and go after what you want even (and especially) when you think you’re not supposed to want it.
My great big hope…the thing that keeps me writing late at night after work, long after my whole house has gone to sleep…is that somewhere in this, I am going help to motivate and encourage the type of creative leads who will move us all forward as an industry. Who will take their varied and unique experiences of “not being what’s expected” and shake everything up.
I think I’m in good company :)
XOXO,
Cathy