We took the kids bowling last night.
My older one’s been bowling a couple of times. He was consistently able to hit pins. But my youngest, Leo, was starting almost from scratch.
Kids, like adults, are often in such a hurry to be good at things right away. He ran eagerly up to the lane and chucked the ball forwards.
THUNK. It clammered to the floor violently because he’d thrown it too high, and then promptly swerved left into the gutter. When the ball returned, I tried to help him but he was already tilted. He did the same exact thing, again.
Leo started to cry. He said he “hated this” and that he “wasn’t having fun”. He was heading for a full meltdown. I sat across from my sad-faced, tear-streaked little guy, wondering how I could calm his emotions and get him to slow down.
“Leo, you need to have a calm body. Focus on your aim. As long as you aim it right, it doesn’t matter how fast you go.”
I let him use my turns to practice and showed him how to point his hand at the dots on the floor to make sure his aim was correct. Finally, he “got it”. He slowed down his swing and released the ball.
The ball moved so gradually that it was almost in slow motion, but yet it maintained a fairly straight path all the way down to the the pins. When it reached them, it gently knocked down all but one. Leo was so happy that he danced all around the lane.
Was this the “by the book” method? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
It’s just what I know to be true; rushing makes you careless. Careful, intentional movements may not look flashy, but they get you where you want to go - every single time.
Why’d I tell you this story?
I remember this young man I hired many years ago as a junior designer. He was talented, but he was always in such an incredible hurry. Before you got the words out of your mouth he’d be galloping forward to do the assignment: I’d get 10 options sent back to me within minutes of my request - all of them wrong - because he’d not thought them through or listened to the directions carefully. I kept watching him run himself ragged doing work no one asked him to do. Honestly, I never did get him to slow down and listen. He advanced his skills over the years - but he did it in such a bumpy and uncomfortable way that was truly unnecessary. It was also probably slower than if he’d just learned to relax. In his mind, it was the world that was demanding this level of speed and suffering. But he was wrong. He was the one making himself “go” like this. Anything that anyone said to him about pacing himself or going home on time fell on deaf ears.
When you’re in the mindset that results should be instant, and that the only acceptable result is to be “first”….slowing down and being intentional can feel like going backwards.
But it’s truly the only way to go forward. Keeping frantically busy to feel productive often has the opposite result.
Your body also isn’t going to put up with unending pressure. It will eventually revolt. Violently. (As I keep learning.)
It’s true for humans and it’s true for brand-new industry technologies like AI.
Go too fast and you’re headed straight for the gutter every time. Slow down - so you can knock down all the pins.
XOXO,
Cathy