As humans, we are always making certain choices based on perceived safety.
Me, too.
“Stop, it’s not safe!” - I say this at least 4 times a day to my kids.
But there isn’t any way to be safe from everything bad that might happen.
We’ll cross the street to avoid the big ice slick and then narrowly avoid the motorcycle running the red light.
We’ll take that job with massive red flags so we can get a steady paycheck and benefits - and then spend so much of our time & energy on it that we miss out on things that are important to us, and maybe even make ourselves really sick. (And then get laid off anyways).
Striving to be “always safe” can end up being a kind of prison.
One where the rules are “don’t have fun!” and “don’t relax!” And anything that goes wrong is another lock that gets added to the door.
You freeze over and over again, unable to decide how to act, because what if THAT’s the choice that ruins everything?
You run away from any dreams that actually excite you - for fear they will destroy you.
I know this dance very well. I know it backwards and forwards.
I also know that my life has always changed for the better whenever I’ve dared to defy the little voice that keeps telling me I’m not allowed to be happy.
If it’s not possible to be safe from danger, maybe that means we’re always free - free to make a choice that centers the values most important to us (and what gives us joy).
I’ve gotten very close to giving up lately. To burning it all down. Being a creative is a special kind of torture right now. You know.
But then I realized:
It cannot possibly be a waste to keep creating. Every time I create something, I feel myself heal from the world a little bit. And I think that when I heal, others do, too. That is worth something.
The opposite of war isn’t peace - it’s creation. (IYKYK)
If I’m going down (which can happen in good times as well as bad)…then I’m going down doing what I love. But, I do not think we are going down. Rapidly changing form in a hellacious manner? Yes. Choking and sputtering? Mmm hmm. Raging and reinventing? Sure. But drowning? No.
Don’t believe the hype: creativity isn’t dead - it’s just bruised.
-Cathy
*written with brain, heart and fingers*