I’m so lucky to exist near you.
I think your journey is absolutely fascinating, and your alive-ness makes me feel more alive, as well.
I spent so much of my career going through long dark moments of the soul where I desperately wished to be anything else than an artist.
A postal worker. A lawyer. An engineer.
Sometimes I felt so cursed by this desire to create things. Sometimes it felt so meaningless, when there were “real” things to be done.
But I was making lines and rules about things that there ought not be lines and rules about. I was separating things that weren’t actually separate.
There’s no career that exists in a vacuum devoid of creativity.
There’s no creative endeavor that exists in a void of purpose and practicality.
Whatever happened to the Renaissance idea of a person who could paint the most hauntingly beautiful portrait of all time, but also design airplanes?
Where did all these boxes and niches come from…and did they actually make anything clearer?
Last night, my oldest one asked what I was working on, and I think he actually understood me, this time. He asked to go rate the streaming app I’m working on in my day job “so I can get lots of money and get a promotion at work.” 😆
Later, I watched both my children gleefully play through some My Little Pony games that I made almost 11 years ago.
I never thought I’d be showing those games to my future children when I made them. I was only loving the joy and magic of making a pony dance to music. I was only thinking of how I could take some game mechanics I liked and simplify them so a child’s little fingers could manipulate the controls.
It’s okay to follow what tickles your fancy. Even when have a "real" job :)
Peace,
Cathy