😌 Give yourself a f*cking break.

Today I was thinking about how important it is to consider CAPACITY when working with others.

Capacity isn’t exactly the same thing as energy. Capacity is more like a measure of what a person is physically or mentally ABLE to do in a specific situation.

I think a lot of your angst can be reduced when you start thinking about how everyone is walking around with a capacity indicator (including you).

You can’t necessarily see how full it is or how much it can hold. But it’s always a factor in being around other humans.

Some examples of what I mean:

-Your boss has roughly milk jug’s worth of capacity to get you the raise you’re looking for before they run out of influence.

-Your employee has a quart of capacity left to handle working on another thing before they are unable to take more on.

-Your coworker has a two-liter of capacity to be polite to a vendor who’s delivered something that doesn’t meet expectations.

-You have roughly a cup of capacity left to continue working while you’ve got a bad cold or haven’t slept enough.

-Your child has 3 tablespoons left of capacity to continue working through a homework assignment that is really difficult for them.

When you start adding CAPACITY into consideration in your interactions with others, suddenly things that frustrate you get a lot less personal.

The promotion you’ve been discussing for ages with your boss that got stalled AGAIN…still annoying, but doesn’t necessarily reflect any unwillingness on their part. And knowing that they aren’t “against you” is going to make any further decisions you have to make feel a LOT less awful.

The thing your employee said yes to but then left undone…doesn’t necessarily reflect that they are slacking, stupid, or have a “bad attitude”. You’re free to use this simply as information to help you decide what is a reasonable amount of things to put on their plate.

And you, when you don’t get something done that you intended to do…it also doesn’t necessarily reflect those things about YOU, either. You also can use this information to give YOURSELF a f*cking break.

When you give yourself a f*cking break, you also remember to do this for others.

In fact, I have so much trouble remembering to give myself a f*cking break that I turned it into a graphic and made it my phone wallpaper.

Yes, that is what time it is right now. I'm experimenting with writing these morning-of. I'll do it as long as I have the capacity ;)

XOXO,

Cathy

P.S. Since I’m learning about non-dualism right now, I’m going to say: Since you aren’t actually separate from others, being kind to yourself is the SAME THING as being kind to others. Being kind to others is the same thing as being kind to yourself.

Read the heart sutra if you don’t believe me (and then come explain it to me because it’s making my head hurt ;).