1: Feeling truly supported and/or “seen” at work is going to be rare.
When you reach a friendly and supportive shore…soak it in, because it’s not the norm. Far more often in the workplace, either you don’t know where you stand…or you DO know where you stand…but it’s not the standing you’d prefer. It’s likely that you’ll feel like you constantly have to watch what you say and set various boundaries. But, none of that means anything is “going wrong” or that you HAVE to leave your job. Instead, it might be an opportunity to reset your expectations about the role work will play in your life.
2: Complements aren’t currency.
Nice words about your performance that aren’t backed up by appropriate compensation or growth (with adjustments at reasonable intervals) are just emotional manipulation.
3: It might not be your supervisors’s fault that you didn’t get that raise or promotion you were hoping for.
(I have a whole email coming soon that will be dedicated to the non-performance reasons you might not be rising). “Not their fault,” doesn’t mean that it’s okay or that we give up on getting what we want. It just means we learn to strategize better.
4: The opportunity that’s going to change your life could be literally right around the corner.
After trying for 5 years to work for directly for an entertainment brand, a job at HBO finally happened for me in 2014 - literally 1 month into a different job I’d taken. I am so glad I went through the discomfort of breaking up with a new job so early so that I could go after what I really wanted. I know I will always look back at those 8 years of my life in awe of all the things I got to do there and all the ways I grew.
5: Which leads me to: ABI - Always Be Interviewing.
If you get a chance to interview somewhere you might want to work someday - take it! I don’t care if you’re BFFs with your boss. Even if you feel like you owe someone who “gave you your start”. Or if you just started a new job (offers can get rescinded). Do it anyways, because circumstances can change very quickly and opportunities are not unlimited. Remember that an interview is just a conversation - and at minimum a chance for you to get to know a company better and make some contacts. It’s not rude to pull out of a job search process if you’re not feeling it (as long as you’re considerate about it). It just makes you “the one who got away.”
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Hope you’re having a good day - if not, take a few deep breaths or listen to a meditation - reset that nervous system :)
XOXO,
Cathy
P.S. I just want to invite you to feel free to respond anytime something resonates with you or you have a question - I’m happy to answer them :)